I think I am wasting my time.
Lately, two lines have been rushing - like express trains - through my mind.
The first is from the American TV programme, True Blood. It is something one the characters, Tara Mae, a young black woman living in the South, says to a police detective:
'College is for white people looking for other white people to read to them. I thought I'd save the money and read to myself.'
And the other is from Good Will Hunting - specifically, the part where Will is challenged by a group of Harvard students. In response to their despicable cleverer-than-thou arrogance, he explains:
'... in fifty years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own, and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don't do that; and, two, you dropped 150 grand on a fucking education you could have got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.'
Sometimes, when I think about what I'm doing here, or about this creative writing dissertation I've lumbered myself with, it strikes me that Will Hunting is right. Wonderfully and heartbreakingly right.
Academically, I've learnt nothing at university that I couldn't have learnt by reading. On my own. For a few hours a night.
The Real World is waiting for me.
It's 'out there' - beyond the Butlins holiday camp that is Manchester Metropolitan University.
I have only a year left now.
A year to turn myself into a creative and original writer.
And the worse thing is:
I could have done that for free.
Yours Poorly (in Spirit and Soul),